Introspection taken too far is narcissism. To figure out if you're introspecting versus over-introspecting, look at how it affects people around you.

Know Thyself

OK.

But how do you know when you're over-"knowing thyself"?

With a lot of things, it's easy to know when you're over-doing it. But when it comes to introspection, what's the sensation when you're actually over-doing it? How do you know if you're introspecting or over-introspecting? Do you "just know"? Does it "feel right?"

And is narcissism actually bad?

Introspection is a form of narcissism. It's not good or bad. And to figure out if you're over-introspecting, just look at its result on people around you. Put differently, "what effect does your introspection have on the consumer?" If consumer-positive, good. If not, probably not good.

Today, let's cover:

• Etymology of the term.
• How to answer "am I being a narcissist or am I just focused on making myself awesome?" using a framework similar to how the DOJ/FTC rules on antitrust cases.

Meaning & Etymology of the term "Narcissist"

The word derives from the ancient Greek word narke, meaning numbness, stupor, or deadness. It's the same root we use for the word "narcotic."

According to Greek mythology, Narcissus's beauty made him attractive to nearly everyone who saw him and both men and women pursued him, but he rejected all advances.

One of his admirers, a nymph named Echo, fell so madly in love with him that, after he rejected her, she wasted away until only her voice remained.

The goddess Nemesis, taking pity on Echo, convinced Narcissus to gaze into a pool. Upon seeing his face reflected in the water, Narcissus fell in love with his reflection.

Because he was unable to embrace his reflection, Narcissus too wasted away and in his place grew the flower that bears his name, the narcissus.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metamorphosis_of_Narcissus

So, Narcissus was "over-fixated" on himself. over-fixated is an interesting term, it feels like "totally working."

In 1914, Freud noted a certain level of self-absorption isn't a character flaw; it’s a vital, necessary part of human development.

It feels like in today's language, "you're a narcissist" is a mix of "i don't like you" and "i'm smarter than you." But instead, let's look at the etymology of narcissist.

So how do I know if I'm a narcissist or if I'mjust making myself more awesome?

What's the boundary condition to know when I'm "over-fixated" on myself?

Let's shrink the scope a bit. We shouldn't figure out if "narcissism" is good or bad. You could possibly split this up into "pathological narcissism" and "healthy narcissism" but these words don't feel right either. On the spectrum of DSM-5 xor create shareholder value I have a bias for the latter.

The Federal Trade Commission has joined the Group Chat

The question isn't whether you are focused on yourself too much or too little. Asking that is like asking if a company is "too powerful" which is in my opinion, anti-competitive and against human nature.

How do we balance empathy for others with unconstrained self-ambition?

By focusing on the consumer.

Focus on the consumer

What does your narcissism do for the consumer?

Regulatory bodies had to scratch their head for a minute, that nobody at Connex or Killeen was at fault. But this merger is so balance-positive for American consumers that ultimately, Justice wants it. Federal courts want it. Everybody wants it.

Our real client, after all, is us, the American people.

• Bennett Holiday, Syriana

Balance-Positive for the Consumer

The consumer is: you and other people in your life. Family, friends, foes, your partner, your parents, your peers.

Balance-positive narcissism: you thrive because you create genuine value for the consumer.

Self-Esteem

• You have realistic, stable self-worth. You don't require a constant drip of external validation to keep the lights on. Note: this doesn't mean you are always "winning" or that your self-esteem is always high.
• Also note: this also means that you do not use difficulty to force attention from others.
• Criticism is R&D and market feedback for growth. Conflicting ideas strengthen the core (as opposed to conflicting ideas leading to identity collapse).
• Reflection & introspection: The right amount and not the wrong amount. Too much introspection leads to detachment.

Does your self-focus increase quality for the consumer? Does it raise prices?

In a relationship, raised prices look like your partner constantly walking on eggshells. It looks like forcing people to pay the steep toll of constant praise, and navigating unending toxicity just to interact with you. It sounds like demanding people recite "your pronouns" in order to have the privilege of speaking to you.

Competition

• The Test: Do you allow other people's needs to compete with your own?
• Healthy (Low Barriers): The market is open. You listen to others, you adjust, and competing needs are negotiated fairly.
• Pathological (High Barriers): You guilt-trip others who bring reasonable needs that compete with yours. You maintain a strict, unyielding monopoly on whose opinions and feelings actually matter.

Vertical Integration

• The Test: Do you own the supply chain to be efficient, or to isolate?
• Healthy: You own your own supply chain of self-worth. You are a self-contained firm that doesn't need to ruthlessly extract validation from the environment.
• Pathological: You build a closed-loop system where you only listen to your own feedback. You own the supply chain purely to isolate yourself from reality. You erase others entirely because external data doesn't fit your internal narrative.

To be human is to have an ego. To exist in relationships is to look at our own reflection. The question is not if we have market power, but how we wield it.

You stare at that liability hard enough, and before long, it'll turn into an asset.